Truthfully ive never been a fan of Ghollywood. I mean,they have got beautiful actors and actresses,but there’s something called being “dynamic”. It’s not cool seeing the same faces act different roles in thousands of movies over and over again when fresh talents could easily be slotted in. And again,I don’t have a thing for long series of movies with the same story line-prostitution,homosexuality and fornication. I definitely can’t have my kids seeing such movies,and believe me,if everyone adopts my style,for the reason that I do have the interest of the future generation at heart,in the next 30-60 years,I doubt anyone would be seeing these movies. Enough about ghollywood, let me bring you back home to the mighty “Nollywood”. You see, the ability to convey in words how I feel about Nollywood is near impossible. But I’ll try my best to convey my disappointment comprehensively.

Three weeks ago, I sat with my uncle in the sitting room,and we thought, “Why not tune to a Nigerian movie station?”, and you can bet we did. This movie was to be on for another hour. Cool, I could catch up. So you see,I spent the first thirty minutes trying to edit the subtitle in my head before digesting it properly,especially since Nigerian languages were used for some dialogues which weren’t properly translated in correct English language. I was used to doing this already.Yes, I was pained,but then I was used to this already. Ignoring the frustrating subtitle,I continued. Ever felt like you’re choking on water although you’re actually not drinking water? That’s how I felt when this scene played out;

Girl walks over to her supposed employer on whose farm she had just finished working strenuously. The woman smiles at her and says, “My daughter,you are so hardworking. Whose daughter are you?”

Now the girl replies her father’s name and the woman says, “Ah,I do not know him, what is he like?”

And the girl replies,” He’s a very kind man.”

Now the lady says,”Oh really, Then I think I know him. You would marry my son.”

Brethren, two scenes further and this woman brings her son to the girl’s house seeking her hand in marriage. Who gives out one’s child in marriage to a person you just met once? A person who happens to be working on your farm for the first time! In Nigeria? How realistic is that? Okay fine, we could say perhaps this woman was too desperate to get her son a wife, but then how she got to know this lady’s house or most importantly, how she came to know her father after declaring only second ago that she hadn’t heard of him even after the girl had disclosed his name was quite “disturbing.”

Who does that?

As expected one might say, well it’s just this one movie and a malfunction in script or something. And I’m like “wasn’t there a director?” If a movie is worth making at all, it should be produced properly. I’m sorry to say this, but take a good look at the graphics of most Nigerian movies. I mean it gets quite obvious that a scene from a cartoon(produced by somebody else) was slotted in,or even an animated fire or a witch flying up there in the sky. Most times the action occurs before the sound effect; like a character falling down dead before a car knocks him down or before a gun shot is heard.

This is 2018, who still makes these kinds of movies? Stop filling up our screens with so much fakes.We want quality not quantity. Even if you can produce just a movie a year and it’s worth watching,then fine! The casting is so poor,not to even mention the costumes. Listen, we do know you want to portay an average teenager or a lady in her late twenties,but what gives you the idea that the average teenager dresses that way? At least not all of them. When we look at the screen now,we practically see women dressed naked. Is it necessary to dress them that way? Taking a close look at Korean movies,yes definitely I’m not a great fan of most of their costumes,but hardly would you find errotic scenes in their movies,and still they know how to convince their viewers that these two characters just had sex. Is it incompetency or you just want to teach your viewers how to have sex? If we want to watch pornographies I think we know where to find them.

Lest I forget, why does it seem like all through the country there isn’t any girl or boy who falls below the age of 25,and so we see women who are no doubt in their 40s acting the character meant for a 16 year old girl,all looking hilarious in a school uniform? I mean really, you were once students, you should know what a student should look like. Even if you needed an expert and the ones you could find were 30 and above,their make up can be worked on! You dont even give young actors the chance to come to light. No, you want actors who have been in the industry longer than forever to keep acting these roles! Where are the fresh blood?

Another hilarious thing about the Nigerian movie industry is the flash back. A friend was discussing with me and she explained how a flashback occurred in a certain Nigerian movie. In this flashback which was supposed to be some 10 years back, the character looked exactly the same. She even had the same hair style on. A movie which portrayed an event occurring in the 70s having the character on Brazilian hair extensions.

Very few are the exceptions which do not fall into these categories above. What is wrong exactly? Inefficient lecturers in schools? Laziness on the part of the producers? Inability to properly seek sponsors? In truth,how would you be able to get sponsors when they know they’ll be spending their money on a not so profitable deal? How do we go about correcting all these flaws?



  1. Maybe it’s the funding. Mainly when it comes to the flashbacks and the 40 year old student, lol 😂. They probably can’t afford the actresses. But I understand what your saying about everything though, especially the storyline. Better film resources maybe to get better writers and directors.

    Liked by 1 person

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